I've decided to try something new. I'm going to write a little bit maybe once a week - just what I'm thinking about or stressing about. This blog is mostly for me to remember what the kids were like and pictures are of course, the easiest way but often our feelings and frustrations can be forgotten.
The other day I was pondering how old Kaitlyn was getting. Maybe not old to some people but certainly "old" to me. A month from tomorrow my little baby will be 9! I can't even begin to believe it. Nine years ago now I was nearing the end of my first pregnancy. I couldn't believe I was actually going to have a child. It had taken us 4 years to get to that point and I still couldn't fathom actually holding my own child.
When I went into labor a few days early it all seemed so surreal and when I held my 7.11 pound baby girl life became perfect :) She was beautiful and she still is of course. Now the baby girl is a big girl and a big sister 4 times over. She's done with 3rd grade and she knows how to read and write.
But what I'm pondering now is how much can she do on her own? I have begun letting her go to the bathroom by herself when we are out. And walking around small stores (like the Dollar Store) by herself - down aisles where I can't see her. I'm letting her out of my line of sight for minutes at a time and just that little tiny bit is FREAKING me out.
I can't help it. I write suspense books - I kill people in my books so when I think of her leaving my site I think about the bad things that could happen. Am I nuts?
And now that she is going to be nine she can actually stay home alone for short periods of time! What? Are they nuts? Who wrote these rules? Clearly not parents of 9-year-olds girls! I'm not ready.
The good news? She's not ready either. I mentioned to her staying home alone and she was not into the idea. That's good right?
I may be slightly prepared to train a two-year-old toddler not to hit her sister or how to stay in bed or how to obey but I am not at all prepared for my oldest daughter to be on her own.
Not in the least. Dear God help me!!